Funny Definitions

Here are some funny definitions I found on the net, which make a lot of sense!

Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends, and is now growing in the middle.

Boss: Someone who comes early when you are late and late when you are early.

Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

Committee: A body that keeps minutes and waste hours.

Conference: The confusion of a man multiplied by the number present.

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than what you actually do.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful, even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Marriage: It’s an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.

Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidently falls into a river.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Psychologist: A man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

Secret: Something you tell to one person at a time.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Working hours: Total hours you spend in office after deducting coffee breaks, reading newspaper, chit-chatting and surfing the internet.

Wrinkles: Something other people have. You have character lines.